did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
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you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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