I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize