If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize