my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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