i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize