I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize