There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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