what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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