first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
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This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
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I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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