just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize