Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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