this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize