i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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