Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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