I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My dad just said "fuck circus"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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