My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize