Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
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Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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