I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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