I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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