There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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