Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize