Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize