i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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