Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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