We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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