perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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