She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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