Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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