I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize