we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
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He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
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finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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