So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize