sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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