Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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