awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize