Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
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Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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