Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize