I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize