oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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