i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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