its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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