some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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