they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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