is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I believe in your delicious
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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