the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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