Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize