i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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