The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
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I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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