dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize