I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dick very happy bro
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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