he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize